Connect & Converse With The Sisterhood

The Money & The Cars, Cars & The Clothes, The Hoes

"I want the money, the money and the cars, the cars and the clothes, the hoes, I suppose I just wanna be successful". This is the hook to one of the popular songs now playing on the radio titled "Successful". And I started this discussion because last night I went to a party, and afterwards this guy tried to talk to my friends and I, and after we showed disinterest, he let the bold statment "ya'll hoes anyway" escape his mouth. And I couldn't believe that he was so comfortable in saying that. Then on the ride home, "Successful" comes on the radio, and I found myself singing it. And then I couldn't help but wonder if I unconsiously gave him permission to call me a hoe, just by singing the song. If having money, cars, and hoes is supposed to make you 'successful' why wouldn't somebody strive for that? But just because one artist defines 'Successful' as such, does that make the word acceptable? And this is not the first time we've seen or heard the word used in music or on television or whatever, but last night after that man so boldly and freely called my friends and I hoes, it made me wonder....have we as women and as society began to accept the derogatory statement?

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Permalink Reply by Natasha D on February 11, 2010 at 3:52pm: Yes we have. When a man drives down the street and yells out, "Aye girl, come here," and we gladly walk on over to them, we're degrading ourselves. The correct phrase is, "Excuse me mam/miss, can I talk to you for a minute," We do when we playfully call each other hoes and bitches amongst ourselves. It's all jokes and games when us females call ourselves that but when a man comes out and calls us that, we get offended. If we don't want to be disrespected, we must set the examples first with ourselves.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Imago Dei on February 15, 2010 at 11:24pm: I most definitely agree. If we don't respect ourselves as women, then we can't expect men to respect us. But then what do you say in regards to the fact that, yes, we know this is true, but then when a song like "Successful" comes on the radio, we unconsiously sing it. We know we're degrading ourselves by jokingly calling ourselves and our peers hoes, but the melody is so catchy we can't help but sing it...or can we? And is it something that just one female can decide? Like, if you and I decided today that we were going to stop using the word "hoe" to reference ourselves as well as other females, whaty would that change? Would men stop using the word as well...or are they still going to pull up beside us and step uncorrectly?; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Natasha D on February 16, 2010 at 8:15pm: Yes, it is something that one female can decide and it would change a whole lot. It all starts with one making the difference. Then from there, the numbers will grow from one to many. And men won't have any other choice but to respect women. Because we decided to turn away from the nonsense and respect our selves, they (men) in return will respect us. And the music representing us.... OMG.....it's just not right at all. Basically according to the rappers and singers, all women are hoes, bitches, gold diggers, sex symbols, video girls, etc. And we just sing right along with it. Another form which unconsciously degrades ourselves. We can simply change the tune if they're playing a song degrading women. We got Raheem Devaughn, Common, Nas, Mos Def, Musiq, Lyfe Jennings, etc., who still keep it on that gentleman, respectful status. It's OUR choice as to what we want to listen to. We as women must be aware that we in fact are "Women". We're not animals, hoes, hores, etc. Especially Black women.; ▶ Reply to This