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Capturing a mood or a moment with words
The following is excerpted from my novel, They Just Be Killing White Folk (A Vampire Tale of Bloodlust, Terror, and Horror) written under my pen name, VaJo PaJefChat:
Interlude: The Bone Gatherer Prepares Her Potion
Nine miles away in Stearne, Nell Bailey hummed while she gathered bones as daylight grew rich and warm and the sun, looking like a ripe peach, approached the horizon quickly, racing with the darkness which would soon move up from the bowels of the earth to claim the night. She pushed dirt and debris aside gently with her toe, watching for that gleam of white indicating the iridescent surface of bleached bones. Until recently, she’d hunted for the bones of the dead on her hands and knees, carefully pushing aside the dry soil and tangle of overgrowth that covered each grave with her rough, calloused hands. That was before arthritis made it difficult for her to get down on her knees.
“I know the Lord forgive me for not kneeling down to pray, but I ain’t sure about Great-Great Grandpa Bartholomew,” she’d laugh and say to herself every time she’d come to gather bones.
Then she’d go back to humming and uncovering slivers of white bones, kicking them out of the ground with the grace of a ballerina flexing her toe shoes. Once she had enough to make a pile, she’d push them together with those same deft toes and slowly bend over to put them in the small bag made from flour sacks. The soft cotton protected the fragile bones until she got them safely home where she ground them into fine powder to make her potions.
“Ain’t no harm to keep your mind stayed on Jesus,” Nell sang as she reached down and picked up each piece of bone and put it in her bag. The transition from humming to singing was a distraction to keep her mind off her aching knees, bent slightly to take the pressure off her back. Once she’d gathered enough to fill her bag halfway, Nell stood up straight, thanked the Lord for a beautiful day and a clear sky so the sun could show her the bones of her ancestors, and headed home before it got dark.
(c) gjc, 2009. All Rights Reserved.
DO YOU HAVE EXAMPLES OF YOUR WRITING THAT CAPTURE A MOOD OR A MOMENT?
Interlude: The Bone Gatherer Prepares Her Potion
Nine miles away in Stearne, Nell Bailey hummed while she gathered bones as daylight grew rich and warm and the sun, looking like a ripe peach, approached the horizon quickly, racing with the darkness which would soon move up from the bowels of the earth to claim the night. She pushed dirt and debris aside gently with her toe, watching for that gleam of white indicating the iridescent surface of bleached bones. Until recently, she’d hunted for the bones of the dead on her hands and knees, carefully pushing aside the dry soil and tangle of overgrowth that covered each grave with her rough, calloused hands. That was before arthritis made it difficult for her to get down on her knees.
“I know the Lord forgive me for not kneeling down to pray, but I ain’t sure about Great-Great Grandpa Bartholomew,” she’d laugh and say to herself every time she’d come to gather bones.
Then she’d go back to humming and uncovering slivers of white bones, kicking them out of the ground with the grace of a ballerina flexing her toe shoes. Once she had enough to make a pile, she’d push them together with those same deft toes and slowly bend over to put them in the small bag made from flour sacks. The soft cotton protected the fragile bones until she got them safely home where she ground them into fine powder to make her potions.
“Ain’t no harm to keep your mind stayed on Jesus,” Nell sang as she reached down and picked up each piece of bone and put it in her bag. The transition from humming to singing was a distraction to keep her mind off her aching knees, bent slightly to take the pressure off her back. Once she’d gathered enough to fill her bag halfway, Nell stood up straight, thanked the Lord for a beautiful day and a clear sky so the sun could show her the bones of her ancestors, and headed home before it got dark.
(c) gjc, 2009. All Rights Reserved.
DO YOU HAVE EXAMPLES OF YOUR WRITING THAT CAPTURE A MOOD OR A MOMENT?
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